[Once again Merlin's eyes start darting, but this time between Hanna and his now offered arm. It takes like two seconds before Merlin has an equally stupid grin and begins fanning himself aggressively.
He then proceeds in the stupidest voice he can muster:]
Oh goodness, SUCH a noble steed. I may very well faint~
[He flutters his eyelashes obnoxiously before taking Hanna's arm.]
[teases Maya over her shoulder, muffled slightly by the presence of the joint in her mouth. They might hear the flicking sounds of a lighter followed by a slightly-karmic tiny yelp.]
[Well, he was walking this prince down the aisle hallway with the cheesiest smile, but Maya's question is like a punch to the gut. Hanna was about to say something stupid to Merlin, but nope, the wind has been completely knocked out of him. Knees, capped. His words catch in his throat and he has to grab the doorjamb when he stumbles, trying not to topple over on Merlin when his stupid horse legs betray him.]
Whoa-- Sorry, sorry-- [Koff.] Heheh. My, uh. My stupid horse legs like to betray me.
[Perfect excuse to act like he was too busy tripping to hear Maya's question. Let's move the conversation along just in case she's brave enough to make that joke again..........]
So, uh, you ever smoked anything before? Do they even have weed in your world? Like, ~fantasy flower~ or something--
[Well, if Hanna stumbles, that only means Merlin's forced to stumble as well, and it totally kills his comedy routine. Some people!! He brushes himself off when Hanna's horse legs finally start behaving again and Merlin can't help but mouth "Fantasy flower?" while Hanna tries to explain weed to him.
Oh god, they really DO think he's baby.
Merlin weighs his options on how to continue this conversation. He could be so funny right now...
And so he slaps his cheek, pretending to be intrigued.]
You'll have to forgive me, I'm afraid I'm not following. Remember, you're talking to sheltered royalty here.
[Maya asks, as though Merlin doesn't get a choice in the matter.
When they're in the room enough to see, Maya will be sitting there in the middle of Hanna's bed as if it's hers, waiting for them and wringing her hand. She blows a cloud of smoke out and then fans it with her wrist, surprised by its look in the dim lighting. Real nice and fantasy flower for you.]
Oh. Uh! P-probably something easy? The ~bubbler~ might hit'im too hard, and-- well, honestly the joint might too... What do you think?
[Super casually dragging Merlin along to come and make himself comfortable on the bed alongside Maya. But definitely not asking him what he might be ready for.]
No worries, Hanna, he has absolutely no problem answering for him as he crawls onto the bed.]
My, what...jovial names. This is clearly some sort of fun, otherworldly activity you've pulled me into. Although, I do fancy myself the adventurous type, I think I can handle your "bubbler."
[He air quotes and chuckles to himself, as if amused by such a cute name.]
B-But only if you're willing to show me first. I'm a visual learner, after all.
[Maybe it was a mistake to use such a cutesy, sanitized term for it... At least "bong" is the sound it makes when the weed smacks you upside the head with a metaphorical frying pan.]
Uhhhh, you sure about that, buddy?
[Passing a distressed glance over to Maya. Does he really know what he's getting into?]
I mean we can show ya, no prob. But... It's, uh. Well. Iiiit'll be an experience!
[Maya turns to meet Hanna's gaze, but finds herself snorting and covering her mouth at Merlin's little experiences line. She looks to him, then, grinning.]
That's right. Prince Merlin, one of the Fearless Seven! I guess I should expect someone from a team like that to be a little bit of a dare devil.
[She would remember that. The only thing better than One Hero is Several Heroes, after all. Man, she wonders when Saint-Germain will be ready for the next set of Umbrella Academy comics...]
[Having taken another drag in the time Merlin took to respond, Maya breathes out more smoke in both the boys direction, making a sound that could somewhat be considered a passable interpretation of "dragon noises".]
Bwaaah. No, we're gonna be the dragons tonight!
[IT would be a great time to make a 'chasing the dragon' joke, except that it's not opium, and also she doesn't get that reference. Alas.]
[Hanna barks a laugh from the closet where he is currently procuring the rest of his Smoking Materials.]
Oh yeah? Nagas are the weed champions? I never woulda guessed!
[And now he's on his way back with a bong as long as his forearm, and an intricate wooden box, setting it down on the pile of books next to the bed while he plops down next to his buds.]
My money woulda been on gargoyles for sure. Or like, demons or somethin'!
I dunno how, but I don't think I know any of those peeps you just mentioned. Clearly I gotta change that.
[He opens the box to reveal a baggie full of bright green leaf, a handful of colorful lighters and a tiny pipe. He opens the baggie to begin loading up the bowl, the bong secured between his knobby horse knees.]
Alright, Mr. Adventure, you're aaabsolutely a hundred and ten percent sure you're ready to do this?
Merlin raises his eyebrows when he sees Hanna's bong, definitely impressed. But if he's to play the part of Prince Baby, he needs to keep up his nonsense.]
I...think so, yes. That's the bubbler then? Now that is certainly some fine, fine craftsmanship. ...Would you be opposed to letting me borrow it later on tonight? I'm positive I could make all sorts of potions with such an impressive vial.
[Lord help him, it's taking everything in him not to laugh at his own bullshit.]
[Okay, this is getting silly. But Maya's not one to call that out, no, she's always here to play along with a bit, even when it becomes more obvious— she bites her lips in for a moment to prevent too big a smile, and ups the ante—]
Whoever holds it the longest gets the next shotguuuun~
[He's trying so hard not to laugh-- is it cruel to tease the storybook prince with this sort of thing? He can't for the life of him imagine that Literal Merlin, married to Literal Snow White would have any idea what cannabis is!
He has no idea that he's the one being teased.
And honestly, he couldn't care even if he did, because the idea of shotgunning Maya is too good to pass up. So he's just gonna postpone the nasty dunk he was gonna slam on Merlin for now.]
Well, now hold on. I can breathe underwater, I'm pretty sure I can hold it for a hot minute! I'm not sure that's very fair to our sweet, innocent, tender prince here~
[Don't mind Maya quenching the cherry on that joint in Hanna's bowl— it's avoiding waste, you see— as if she's worried the darn thing will burn down before anyone else gets to smoke it. Which at this point, Could happen.
She very nearly almost tips the gosh dang bong over when she flinches, holding back a snort after what Merlin says. Hay for brains...]
[And to punctuate his challenge, he leans down and takes the fattest rip he can manage, motioning to Maya for her to start the count once he pulls up. He hands the piece to Merlin, frowning with his puffed up cheeks as he holds onto that breath for approximately...
17 seconds. Before he dies.
He reaches for one of his pillows to smother the coughing and keep himself from hacking all over his friends.
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sharpiewielder) wrote2022-12-28 03:44 am
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He then proceeds in the stupidest voice he can muster:]
Oh goodness, SUCH a noble steed. I may very well faint~
[He flutters his eyelashes obnoxiously before taking Hanna's arm.]
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[teases Maya over her shoulder, muffled slightly by the presence of the joint in her mouth. They might hear the flicking sounds of a lighter followed by a slightly-karmic tiny yelp.]
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aislehallway with the cheesiest smile, but Maya's question is like a punch to the gut. Hanna was about to say something stupid to Merlin, but nope, the wind has been completely knocked out of him. Knees, capped. His words catch in his throat and he has to grab the doorjamb when he stumbles, trying not to topple over on Merlin when his stupid horse legs betray him.]Whoa-- Sorry, sorry-- [Koff.] Heheh. My, uh. My stupid horse legs like to betray me.
[Perfect excuse to act like he was too busy tripping to hear Maya's question. Let's move the conversation along just in case she's brave enough to make that joke again..........]
So, uh, you ever smoked anything before? Do they even have weed in your world? Like, ~fantasy flower~ or something--
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Oh god, they really DO think he's baby.
Merlin weighs his options on how to continue this conversation. He could be so funny right now...
And so he slaps his cheek, pretending to be intrigued.]
You'll have to forgive me, I'm afraid I'm not following. Remember, you're talking to sheltered royalty here.
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[Maya asks, as though Merlin doesn't get a choice in the matter.
When they're in the room enough to see, Maya will be sitting there in the middle of Hanna's bed as if it's hers, waiting for them and wringing her hand. She blows a cloud of smoke out and then fans it with her wrist, surprised by its look in the dim lighting. Real nice and fantasy flower for you.]
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It's... Distracting. He needs a moment to process what Merlin's said, plus that Maya's asked him another question--]
Ah... Uh.
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Oh. Uh! P-probably something easy? The ~bubbler~ might hit'im too hard, and-- well, honestly the joint might too... What do you think?
[Super casually dragging Merlin along to come and make himself comfortable on the bed alongside Maya. But definitely not asking him what he might be ready for.]
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Perfect.
No worries, Hanna, he has absolutely no problem answering for him as he crawls onto the bed.]
My, what...jovial names. This is clearly some sort of fun, otherworldly activity you've pulled me into. Although, I do fancy myself the adventurous type, I think I can handle your "bubbler."
[He air quotes and chuckles to himself, as if amused by such a cute name.]
B-But only if you're willing to show me first. I'm a visual learner, after all.
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Uhhhh, you sure about that, buddy?
[Passing a distressed glance over to Maya. Does he really know what he's getting into?]
I mean we can show ya, no prob. But... It's, uh. Well. Iiiit'll be an experience!
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[He rests his chin in his hand and waits expectedly.]
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That's right. Prince Merlin, one of the Fearless Seven! I guess I should expect someone from a team like that to be a little bit of a dare devil.
[She would remember that. The only thing better than One Hero is Several Heroes, after all. Man, she wonders when Saint-Germain will be ready for the next set of Umbrella Academy comics...]
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God, he misses his friends...]
Seeee~? If I can fight dragons, I can handle whatever it is you wish to throw at me. ...Just don't literally throw it at me, I'm still sleepy.
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Bwaaah. No, we're gonna be the dragons tonight!
[IT would be a great time to make a 'chasing the dragon' joke, except that it's not opium, and also she doesn't get that reference. Alas.]
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[Is he taking a jab at himself and his horrible network post? Maybe.]
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You know? You've got a point. Guess I can't assume gargoyles are like, the best at weed.
Especially since it's actually Nagas.
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Oh yeah? Nagas are the weed champions? I never woulda guessed!
[And now he's on his way back with a bong as long as his forearm, and an intricate wooden box, setting it down on the pile of books next to the bed while he plops down next to his buds.]
My money woulda been on gargoyles for sure. Or like, demons or somethin'!
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Lust's the one who first gave me some when I was... injured,
[just gonna move right along there—]
And Doc Fidds smokes me out every time I come over!
Oh, and Taako and Lup are like, the weed experts. And Naga experts. They're great at everything, actually.
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I dunno how, but I don't think I know any of those peeps you just mentioned. Clearly I gotta change that.
[He opens the box to reveal a baggie full of bright green leaf, a handful of colorful lighters and a tiny pipe. He opens the baggie to begin loading up the bowl, the bong secured between his knobby horse knees.]
Alright, Mr. Adventure, you're aaabsolutely a hundred and ten percent sure you're ready to do this?
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Merlin raises his eyebrows when he sees Hanna's bong, definitely impressed. But if he's to play the part of Prince Baby, he needs to keep up his nonsense.]
I...think so, yes. That's the bubbler then? Now that is certainly some fine, fine craftsmanship. ...Would you be opposed to letting me borrow it later on tonight? I'm positive I could make all sorts of potions with such an impressive vial.
[Lord help him, it's taking everything in him not to laugh at his own bullshit.]
That is, if I don't mess this up, of course.
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Whoever holds it the longest gets the next shotguuuun~
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He has no idea that he's the one being teased.
And honestly, he couldn't care even if he did, because the idea of shotgunning Maya is too good to pass up. So he's just gonna postpone the nasty dunk he was gonna slam on Merlin for now.]
Well, now hold on. I can breathe underwater, I'm pretty sure I can hold it for a hot minute! I'm not sure that's very fair to our sweet, innocent, tender prince here~
[But Hanna, smoke is not water.]
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[Merlin doesn't even know what a regular shotgun is, but this sounds desirable.]
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She very nearly almost tips the gosh dang bong over when she flinches, holding back a snort after what Merlin says. Hay for brains...]
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[And he scoots back on the bed to cross his legs under himself, the bong nestled in his lap.]
I was gonna go easy on ya. But now me and this bong are gonna kick your little green butt.
2/2
17 seconds. Before he dies.
He reaches for one of his pillows to smother the coughing and keep himself from hacking all over his friends.
Pardon him while he coughs his lungs up. ]
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